The art of conversation

I believe there is such a thing. I'm sure many of you do, too. Whether we follow its general principles at all times is another story; not to mention it's impossible to agree on a universal set of general principles themselves.

This afternoon I was sitting outside at a local coffee shop enjoying my croissant. Next to me, sitting at the table was a group of three. They were music students. To some, this may actually switch the light bulb on in your head as to why they acted how they did.

First of all, I believe there should be a standard window of variance when it comes to pure decibel level of the conversation. Generally speaking I tend to find it in poor taste when I can hear someone else's conversation, not because of how close I am to them, but more because they simply aren't aware of, or don't care about, the sheer volume in which they are speaking. Obviously there are certain unavoidable circumstances which may cause a party to speak louder than they would in a private setting.

If you are speaking loudly enough for those around you to hear, you must be aware of the fact that now that we can hear you, your words are under scrutiny. We are listening to what you are saying and are unconsciously and consciously forming opinions about your statements.

In this particular group there was a jokester, a romantic, and a carefree. This actually is a pretty interesting mix of people. The problem was that they all adhered to their idiosyncrasies at the exact same time. No one actually listened to what each other was saying. It was a talking contest. I'm not sure if there was any actual communication going on.

The romantic would get serious for a moment and talk about his tumultuous love-life; the jokester would make a joke about it when most likely the romantic really didn't care to hear it; and the carefree was just singing a song that he heard being played in a car that recently drove by. He wasn't singing it to himself, but in a way in which he wanted his friends to hear as well, so that they knew that he knew the song and that it was funny and/or cool to sing it out loud. Meanwhile the romantic is obviously going through some sort of social crisis and is receiving no support from his friends. There must be give and take in order to most effectively communicate, in my opinion.

On a happy/cute note: I was walking to rehearsal today with my large, heavy trombone case in one hand and my music and mute in the other. I was coming to a set of double doors and it was obvious that I couldn't open it myself. Two little girls, probably about 7-10 years of age who were probably on campus for lessons, saw this and opened the door for me. One girl tried by herself but the door was too heavy! So the other one came to help and they tag-teamed the door. I was speechless (but gave my thanks of course).