Graciousness

It seems to be the appropriate time of the year to address graciousness. I've caught myself doing this now and again. I've noticed that my family does it semi-regularly, which is probably why, until recently, I never thought twice about it.

If someone says something ingratiating to you, be gracious back. If someone compliments you, receive the compliment. If you cook a nice meal and someone says, "hey, great meal," it's borderline un-classy to not say 'thank you' in response. I hear so many people say, in response to the above, something along the lines of, "yeah it came together didn't it," or, "yeah I'm surprised that it turned out so well considering I have never made it before." These types of responses completely belittle the fact that someone went out of their way to praise you.

It's like giving a gift. Part of the joy in giving gifts is enjoying the responses of those whom which we give gifts to. It's a matter of vulnerability. We don't want to say thank you in those types of scenarios because it makes us feel vulnerable or uncomfortable for some reason. It could be because we don't think we particularly deserve the praise. This line of thought just highlights the fact that we are thinking about ourselves even in the midst praise, when our attention should be focused on those who praised us. They deserve to hear a 'thank you.'

Something else goes along with this: parents vehemently teach their children to say thank you; but what about you're welcome? If someone says 'thank you' to you, for the aforementioned reasons, say 'you're welcome' back.

cops on the open road

Nothing enhances road safety like cops on the patrol. I love it when traffic slams on their brakes when they see a well-positioned cop just after a bend in the road. For the next 30 seconds or so every car is within 5 feet of the next one. That cop just made us all safer.

Then, when that cop decides to pull someone over for doing 12 over, all subsequent traffic has to brake and merge into one lane. Not to mention the cop's and the detainee's lives are now more at risk.

Is the person who is driving 12 over breaking the law? Of course. Does that mean they are causing unnecessary danger to those around them? Not necessarily; the flow of traffic is certainly a large factor here.

In contrast, which situation causes the most danger: a driver going 12 over in the appropriate flow of traffic, or a sudden lane merge in a 60mph zone with no fore warning due to the cop pulling someone over?

Is life short or long?

I hear so many one-liners that address this question. Some people say life is too short. Others imply that life is long because there's 'always more time' to do this or that. Which is it? Obviously this depends on a multitude of factors including but not limited to current age, health, and religious/spiritual beliefs. Let's make a few assumptions before we go further. Let's assume, regardless of our religious beliefs, we believe that our current time on earth is the only time we have to control. Let's also assume that we are of young to relatively young age and are in decent health. Therefore we have no extraneous factors that could influence our thought process in the following hypothetical situations.

We all hear people saying things like, "I wish I could just move out West and make a living doing (x)," or, "I know I'd be much happier if I just quit my job and went back to school." I'm sure there are many more 'what if's' out there that pertain to our happiness and joy in life. Why don't we ever do these things? Is life long enough that we assume that these options will always be possible?

If history, and especially the current state of global affairs, can teach us anything it's that life definitely errors on the side of being too short. Why doesn't that person quit their job to go back to school? Why doesn't that person pick up and start a new life on the West coast? I think we all know the answer: fear. We're afraid of the uncertain. We are more afraid of that uncertainty than of the certainty of being knowingly less happy that we know we could be...think about that. That must be some fear.

As Andy Dufrane said in The Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy livin,' or get busy dyin.'"

Red's (Morgan Freeman's character) response to this during a personal epiphany is, "Goddamn right..."

The guilty pleasures of fast food...

Sorry for the delay in updates. This week has been extremely busy for me. After this weekend, though, things should return to some degree of normality.

I usually don't eat that much fast food, but sometimes I feel like I absolutely need it. If it's late at night it seems more reasonable to me, for some reason, to go to Wendy's or Taco Bell instead of going home and having a bowl or cereal or making a sandwich. Why is this?

The last couple of times I've been sitting in the drive-thru I've been fortunate to catch myself in the act. I consciously think to myself, "OK Adam...you still have time to just pull out of the line...you don't have to do this." I think in response, "Stop being such a nit, Adam. Enjoy yourself, treat yourself. You like it so why not embrace it?."

But do I really enjoy it? Is the dollar menu at Wendy's really a treat? I mean c'mon...If I wanted to indulge in a enjoyable meal and treat myself, it should stand to reason that I would go home and grill some blue cheese burgers on the Foreman and toss a thai salad. But of course my carnal nature gets the best of me. After all that dialogue; being able to logically deduce that eating the fast food will benefit me in no way in terms of money, health, and ultimately joy, I am unable to just drive away...

The real nail in the coffin is when I finally reach the window and I see an unruly character hunched over with his/her shirt un-tucked, a toothpick in his/her mouth, and some foreign, crusted over substance on his/her collar. I see the people working in the back. They are working furiously to push and pull my food out of the microwave, slap some toppings on, and literally throw it in the bag. This is what I waited for? Why am I even here?

Pettiness and turning left

I went to Starbucks last night only to encounter two things that irritate me: people being petty; and people who turn left...

The Starbucks I went to is located next to the local Armed Forces Center. A group of Marines were congregated outside in the parking lot next to their cars. As I was walking past them towards Starbucks I heard them making fun of other branches of the Armed Forces simply because they are not Marines. I'm sure most of you have heard stuff like this before. Unfortunately it's nothing new. It's shown in the movies quite often.

I don't get it, though. How is it cool or funny to genuinely make fun of a fellow citizen of your country who has chosen to engage in armed conflicts with you against those that threaten the rights of the rest of us? I mean, for Marines to call those in the Navy 'pussies' because they live on a boat...Granted, there is probably among those in the Armed Forces an acceptable level of needling between branches, but anything more than that (such as the aforementioned statement, if said with malcontent) is the epitome of ignorance to me.

Ever have those close calls when you are turning right at a stop sign, and at the same time a car is coming from your right and turning left into the area from which you are leaving? By law both cars are allowed to turn at the same time, particularly when the car coming from your right doesn't have a stop sign. Theoretically there shouldn't be a problem...except when the car coming from your right makes the narrowest left turn geometrically possible and almost hits you...It's amazing how narrowly people turn left sometimes, only to find themselves curiously close to a car that's turning right. Do they realize that they are turning narrowly? Is it a general awareness thing? Is it bad driving? Or both?

newyorktimes = the matrix

I read an interesting op-ed at Newyorktimes.com a few days ago. I'm a sucker for writings that bring to light the true complexities of a seemingly one-step, simple act. The article was entitled 'The Behavioral Revolution.' Its premise was to deconstruct the decision-making process. After this, the author then explained how this deconstruction is deseperately needed in Washington. I'll spare you the political aspects of this article and just briefly summarize his thought process.

The author states that there are roughly four steps in the decision-making process:
1. you perceive a situation
2. you think of possible courses of action
3. you calculate which course is in your best interest
4. you take a course of action

These four-steps are based on the assumption that people are mostly rationally engaged in maximizing their self-interest in a particular situation.

The punch line is pretty much, "focus on step one, not step three." We should firstly be most concerned with perception instead of calculation. Our goal should be to clearly and accurately perceive a situation in an un-biased and objectively prudent way. Only then can we correctly and most efficiently calculate possible courses of action.

I was reminded of this line of thinking while watching The Matrix Reloaded a few days ago. The Merovingian tells Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity that they come to him without 'why,' thus without power. He points out to them that they know what they are doing, but they do not truly know why, and this is due to their apparent lack of perception concerning the initial happenings of a circumstance.

intent vs consequence

I'm at the library. I was all set on listening to music and catching up on House...but lately the library staff has put plastic ties on all the headphone chords so that they can't be taken from the computers. To the naked eye this seems like a very positive thing. But as we all know, sometimes intent has nothing to do with consequence.

The problem now is that the headphone chords themselves are tied in knots in order for the plastic ties to most securely adhere them to the computer. Sometimes when headphones are tied in knots like this, similar to a garden hose, the sound becomes distorted. At many work stations I can hear only fragments of sound, if that. This is obviously extremely annoying.

The question is then, "So what should the library staff do...take off the ties and allow people to take the headphones?" Obviously I don't want this either. But I wouldn't mind the concept of going back to the drawing board. I can't help but compare this situation to the general and most recent idea of government regulation...The notion of quick fixes that promptly solve the immediate problem but simultaneously create a brand new one. The decision-making process is a sacred one. It deserves respect. More on this later.